Section blague

Sujet: Section blague Lun 7 Sep 2009 - 11:42

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«En me renversant, on n'a abattu à Saint-Domingue que le tronc de l'arbre de la liberté, mais il repoussera car ses racines sont profondes et nombreuses» Toussaint Louverture.

Invité

Sujet: blague Mer 9 Sep 2009 - 10:20

merci monsieur zouk
j ai pleure de rire car j ai le memme probleme ici ,je refuse de parler anglais
le riz colapois c est genial

Sujet: Re: Section blague Lun 14 Sep 2009 - 15:17

T-NEG la blague suivante est une blague américaine, j'ai pas voulu ouvrir un autre blog pour blague, si ça dérange tu me le diras et je l'enlèverai, si ça ne dérange pas je continuerai à poster toutes sortes de blagues sur ton blog.

Only in Texas my friends... Only in Texas

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Houston , Texas. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.

The deputy says,' License and registration, please.'

'What for?' says the lawyer...

The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

'You still didn't come to a complete stop,' says the deputy. 'License and registration, please'

The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

'The difference is that you have to come to complete stop. That's the law. License and registration, please!' the Deputy says.

Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

'That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the shit out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me to stop or just slow down ?'

Sujet: Re: Section blague Lun 14 Sep 2009 - 17:34

Non non, je change le titre du sujet.

_________________
«En me renversant, on n'a abattu à Saint-Domingue que le tronc de l'arbre de la liberté, mais il repoussera car ses racines sont profondes et nombreuses» Toussaint Louverture.

Sujet: Re: Section blague Jeu 17 Sep 2009 - 7:47

Un couple se balade en voiture à la campagne. Suite à une discussion plutôt acerbe, ils ne se parlent pas. Passant devant une ferme où on voit des ânes et des cochons, le mari ose briser le silence et dit : «Tiens, de la famille à toi? » Son épouse répond du tic au tac : « Oui, par alliance!»

Sujet: Re: Section blague Jeu 17 Sep 2009 - 7:49

Un homme lit le journal et dit à son épouse : - Savais-tu que les femmes utilisent 30.000 mots par jour et les hommes 15.000 ?
La femme lui répond : 'C'est facile à expliquer, il faut toujours répéter deux fois la même chose aux hommes..' L'homme se retourne vers elle et dit : 'Quoi?'

Sujet: Re: Section blague Jeu 17 Sep 2009 - 7:50

Un homme dit à son épouse : - Comment le bon Dieu a-t-il pu te faire aussi belle et aussi stupide à la fois ? Celle-ci répond : -Laisse-moi t'expliquer : Dieu m'a faite belle pour t'attirer.. Et il m'a faite assez stupide pour que je te garde.

Invité

Sujet: Re: Section blague Ven 18 Sep 2009 - 20:29

Pants and Panties
Mike was going to be married to Karen
so his Father sat him down for a little chat.
He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''
She did and said, 'These are too big.
I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in
this family and I always will.'
Ever since that night, we have
never had any problems.
'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..'
She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'
Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family
and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that.'
Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine.'
Mike did and said,
'I can't get into your panties.'
Karen said, 'Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.'

Now send this along to all the women in
your life that you know will appreciate
this, and to all the guys who know the truth!

Sujet: Re: Section blague Ven 18 Sep 2009 - 20:36

The americans say:

"We have Barack Obama,

Stevie Wonder,

Bob Hope, and

Johnny Cash."

The venezuelian answered:

"We have Hugo Chavez,

No Wonder,

No Hope, and

No Cash."

Sujet: Re: Section blague Ven 18 Sep 2009 - 21:21

Sujet: Re: Section blague Sam 19 Sep 2009 - 18:39

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife :
"Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date.."

Sujet: Re: Section blague Sam 19 Sep 2009 - 18:43

Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Sujet: Re: Section blague Sam 19 Sep 2009 - 19:25

Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

Deza sa se afè akwarel wi.

Sujet: Re: Section blague Sam 19 Sep 2009 - 21:29

Maximo a écrit:

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife :
"Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date.."

_________________
«En me renversant, on n'a abattu à Saint-Domingue que le tronc de l'arbre de la liberté, mais il repoussera car ses racines sont profondes et nombreuses» Toussaint Louverture.

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